surviving with this sweet boy...

isn't he just a cutie? he is so precious and such a sweet boy.

but he has colic.
i never understood until now.
my sweet sister and lonnie survived colic with precious molly.
we have sweet friends who survived colic with their beautiful firstborn.
i didn't know how hard it was on them, until now.
now, i know.

i was home this weekend and my sister and mom were incredibly helpful to me. i told katy how sorry i was that i wasn't there for her like she has been for me this go around. she's been so encouraging and wise. "you just don't know how hard it is until you've been through it," she told me, forgiving me for not understanding until now. and she's right.

i never know when he's going to scream, and scream, and scream. driving in the car tonight. walking through the grocery store today. at the doctor's office yesterday. there are those people who stare at you, with a look on their face which seems to convey--"you must not know what you're doing..." or "i feel sorry for you but i'm running the other way."

but then, God brings comfort by sending sweet people like mrs. martha today. she works at publix and is so kind. she heard john screaming and helped me pick up the rest of the items on my list, rushed me to the front of the check-out line and unloaded all of my groceries into my car while i tried to soothe my little man.
"thank you so much," i told her with a tear in my eye.
"that's a beautiful sound," she said, referring to john's crying.

and she is right. though it's not beautiful all the time [after hours on end], it is beautiful because it is my son's voice. it is beautiful because he is healthy. he is a beautiful child, and i am so grateful to have him in my arms.

i know that this period of colic will pass--i KEEP reminding myself of this! "colic takes a toll on the entire family" [mayoclinic.com], and it has been hard. hard on my sweet natalie who has been unbelievably patient with a mommy who has a crying baby in her arms all day. hard on my sweet husband who wants so badly to fix this, to make john feel better and for this all to be over. hard on me--the fatigue, trying to juggle two children, breastfeeding, keep the house in somewhat of an order, stay on top of things.

but here we are! we are surviving. we have a lot to be thankful for, and so i try to focus on that, most of the time!

nat and i were sitting at the table today eating lunch (wow, i actually got to sit down to eat today--that's a blessing!), and she started singing a prayer she learned at school [music class with miss donna is her FAVORITE!!].

God our Father, God our Father,
We give thanks, We give thanks,
For our many blessings, For our many blessings,
Amen. Amen.

to hear that sweet voice sing to God, her Father, our Father...that was beautiful. so He will give me strength, patience, and will help me through this time.

Amen.